What’s Your Talent?
I watch so little television that I’ve started to notice a couple of things that people refer to that I didn’t even know what they were. Even though I’ve never been bothered about being trendy or cool. I like to know what’s popular. It kind of helps me sense the zeitgeist. I don’t really read a newspaper, except to see if there’s any news about Liverpool FC or to scan through the headlines of a tabloid to keep up to date.
But I do like to watch tv occasionally to watch a series like 24, Lost and Heroes. I enjoy getting lost in the thrill of the twists and turns.
And it’s Heroes that I want to talk about today.
If you’re not familiar with it, Heroes is an adventure series about people realising that they have special talents and how they come to terms with it. There is of course an underlying theme about striving to save the world, while fighting evil.
photo credit: Vane ? Ilhabela
Anyway, as far as I’m up to, the Scientist researching the phenomenon has realized that he was looking for the wrong thing in understanding it. These people haven’t somehow gained super powers, instead there is some kind of hormone that exaggerates their natural ability. So it shows up as different abilities in different people.
The reason why I have rambled to this point is because I think we all have these super abilities and talents, but we limit our ability to unleash them and we also look for them in the wrong places.
Like the Scientist looking for a cause for the talent to read minds, to halt time and so on, we look at other people’s path to success. We look for the ingredients for the good student, the hard worker, the confident networker, the caring nurturer and so on.
But we overlook that anyone is caring, productive, confident and effective while they feel happy. And equally no-one is any of those things while they feel rotten.
So many people spend decades researching what cannot be seen or tested looking for the holy grail of the alchemical formula that can transform everyone into perfection, when really we can’t all be Olympic Champions, Singing Idols, Beauty Queens or Geniuses. We just don’t have that DNA.
But we can all excel at whatever we are designed to be. And like the Heroes who, bit by bit, come to understand and realise what their power is, you have to unveil what your talent can be bit by bit.
There is no template for them or for us. Because we are treading new ground and evolving our talent with every new experience.
But in every case, the path to our unique superpower comes when we relax about conforming and trying to fit into a template and just strip away the limitations. And what is our limitation. Again it’s unique, but it’s whatever makes us unhappy.
We do all have access to this stuff that exaggerates our unique abilities. It’s called happiness, joy, exhilaration, passion and love. Which comes along naturally when we just relax and be ourself.
So what is your talent?
I’ll start.
I think my strength would be similar to the Sylar character in Heroes. Not the killing bit (Sylar’s the bad guy), but the ability and the need to see how things and people work.
photo credit: ctoverdrive
I can quickly learn ideas by disconnecting my own thoughts and molding my mind into the thought structure of the person who I am learning from. Then once I’ve seen how it works, I keep the most valuable bits and discard the biases and the fluff. This allows me to take two completely opposing viewpoints and integrate them into one grand idea.
Ok I’m done. I’m off to watch this week’s episode. While I’m gone it’s your turn. In the comments box share what you understand your talent to be (if you don’t know take your best guess at what it could be);
Wow you are so right…
happiness definetly brings out the best in people. I’ve known people who have totally changed for the better once they’re happy!
Yes, we all have talents that can get overlooked or buried. At time by the derision of others, at times by duty and obligation (work, kids, etc). Do we lose our happiness when that happens? Or must we be happy first to find it? Antoher “chicken or egg” question.
My talent is bringing people together – either as volunteers in a group, as friends amisdt busy schedules, family gatherings etc. It brings me great joy, and is often neglected due to schedules etc. Such a shame.
Thank you for your article – it encourages me not to neglect my talent and my joy.
My talent is my greed to be happy. i have not fully grasped what it means to e happy, but I have put the pursuit of happiness above everything.
In terms of a specific skill, i can explain complex ideas in simple ways (you are very good at this Rob).. my limitation is that my working memory is small and i cannot hold many things in my mind at the same time.. i need time to think through it.
I am quit inuitive and am good at getting to the essence of a subject or conversation.
Hi rob,I would like to share my thoughts on happiness.. I fully appreciate that when you are happy you are more productive/efficient/resourceful and i also believe that when you are engaged in something that enhances your “sense of self” or helps you be more of yourself, you are happy…
So the ideal state would be to spend all of your waking hours in activities that give you a “perception of freedom to be yourself”, but focussed on something that is not my sense of self..
rob, i think the above formula that you suggested comes from two levels of awareness.
I was reading Daniel Kahneman’s work on the internet and he was distingushing between happiness experienced by the ” remembered/evaluating self” and “experiencing self”
My experiencing self would like more of positive emotion. feelings of pleasure, interest/enthusiasm, recognition, love and would like less of states/activities that increases the probability of negative emotion like criticism, frustration, boredom, time pressure, being evaluated.
However, my “remembering/evaluating self” cares less about the “positive/negative emotion balance”, but is more interested in “feeling of purpose/meaning” , “does it give me the freedom to be myself?”
When the above two selves are in harmony, great, there is no issue at all..
When the above two are in some sort of conflict, then which of the two selves is more valuable?
Let me give you an example..
I am faced with a situation where I have a well paid, easy and non-stressful job that does not represent or enhance my “who I am” or “sense of self’..
It does however give me the luxury of time and moey to pursue my interests.. I am able to spend 50% of my waking time on weekdays and 80% of my waking time on weekends in activities that are engaing and enhances my “sense of self”.. and the balance of emotion is quite positive..
Out of the remaining 50% of waking time on weekdays, it is working on tasks those are not meaningful to me,,i do not feel “more of me”.. there are some fears, criticism and time pressure, but on the whole i would say that the balance of +ve and -ve emotion is in balance with a slight tilt to the -ve side..
I face the following choices:
1. Continute what I am doing, and find ways to make the 50% (the not so good part) of my weekdays better.
2. Try to do something that enhances my “preception of freedom to be myself ” and “that brings out my unique talents” say 80% of the time during weekdays.
If I choose option 2, what I risk is a nice salary.
Under option 2, i would need to be more structured and I would be under some pressure to sell my services, i would be under pressure to deliver value, I would have more stress..
Under option 2, my concern is that the positive emotions experienced by the “experiencing self’ would be reduced considerably and I am not sure if the happiness experienced by the “remembering self” would be enhanced.
which is more important??
Rob and all my fellow friends in this forum are welcome to comment.
Siva,
I know what I want to say, but I can’t express it clearly at the moment. I will write a post on it when I can put it into words.
The real issue though is one of identity. Who are you? What is your life about?
It is this that will bring the solution you are looking for.
When you struggle between two or more issues like this, it just means you have disconnected with yourself. Work to reconnect and then you will not have the question, for you will be inspired to your path.
Hi Rob,
I don’t know whether i really have a full grasp f who I really am.. what are my talents, or what are my weaknesses.. Iit might have been i’ve been trying so hard to know myself more lately that I can’t really seem to get the real me. I know I’m strong in a sense that I believe if I won’t be doing it no one else will do it for me. so it’s reall more of like trying to move on with this world and do things that will make me survive but until now im in search of what my real purpose is. Oh, I’ve read so many stuff about these, insights that sometimes i envy them for reall knowing who they are, Unlike in my case, I don’t even know what will make me happy if it only involves myself. I seem to find happiness with other people , tho I know that’s wrong but i don’t know how to make myself feel special without others making me feel one. Ir feels like im just making a fool of myself. Oh yes, I’m good with a lot of other things but all of those ar average skills not really something that anyone can brag about and I don’t know a specifically talent uniquely for me to really be proud of. as for weaknesses, i have a lot of them too… I have so many dreams in life as well and wanted a good life ahead of me too.. just that i more often thatn not get loze in the maze of life that I don’t even know how to find my way to reach them… I’m not even sure if i’m making any sense on what I’m saying now .. well, finally you have the idea that I’m really confuse and still at the stage of dicoverng myself and my happiness by just dealing it alone.
Hopefully the post on self improvement vs self expression has made this a little clearer, Siva and Maggie.
Maggie,
I'm re-reading your comment and want to pick upon something you said that I missed before. Specifically,
Unlike in my case, I don't even know what will make me happy if it only involves myself. I seem to find happiness with other people , tho I know that's wrong but i don't know how to make myself feel special without others making me feel one.
There is nothing wrong with finding happiness with other people. Obviously your talent is connected with other people. You just have to gradually get more and more precise to what exactly it is.
Is it just me,I have studied the arts,the phyci. It seems to me people miss what is right there.People dont think they are smart enough to solve themselves.Looking for help,thanks to all who do help,they are much needed people.I had/well I guess you never lose what you learn/ been one for many years,maybe this is why I understand close your eyes,allow your mind to work (take a shower with your eyes closed,it works) In a world so globalized people have forgotten where they came from and what it is that makes them them.Family,all animals run together they touch,they care for each other.This is how animals(us)have been around so long. Stop and do a selfless act,then do another.Soon you will feel better than you ever thought possible.We will all be better! To all who this all angers soory I am not very PC. Just venting.