Comments on: The Secret To Resolving Stress http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/ From Managing Stress To Finding And Following Your Bliss. Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:02:30 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Is Freedom A Double Edged Sword? | The Zero Stress System http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-357 Is Freedom A Double Edged Sword? | The Zero Stress System Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:47:54 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-357 [...] days I’ve been catching up and replying to some comments that were long overdue a reply.  Here’s one that I felt was probably relevant to many people, so I’m making my reply into a post.007 [...] [...] days I’ve been catching up and replying to some comments that were long overdue a reply.  Here’s one that I felt was probably relevant to many people, so I’m making my reply into a post.007 [...]

]]> By: Rob McPhillips http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-356 Rob McPhillips Mon, 28 Jul 2008 12:46:20 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-356 007, One of your comments got marked as spam in the comment filter. So to answer some points not covered in my first answer and because I think they are good points to answer for everyone I'm going to make a post to share my thoughts. 007,

One of your comments got marked as spam in the comment filter. So to answer some points not covered in my first answer and because I think they are good points to answer for everyone I’m going to make a post to share my thoughts.

]]> By: Rob McPhillips http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-354 Rob McPhillips Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:10:43 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-354 I believe there is a book I came across which referred to the fact that too many choices made us less happy. Can't remember any more than that though. Yes. I do think not having a choice can lead to less stress. However I think the ideal state is not in never being put in a stressful situation, which would only lead to boredom and stagnation, but in overcoming stress and using it as a springboard to a higher level of being. Will you be overwhelmed by doing it with little chunks? Maybe. If you can deal with it one big chunk then do it in one big chunk. But the idea behind the small chunks is that it makes a big decision more manageable. In most cases people are stuck on making a decision because there are many other things they know are involved in the decision, but they can't think of them all at the same time. So making small decisions is easier. It all depends on what works for you. Stephen Hawking can calculate all his workings out in his head because that's the way his brain has become structured. Most of his Peers need boards and papers to map out their thoughts. It just depends on what works for you. Which issues to tackle? All of them. If they are on your mind, process them so they move from your mind to resolved and forgotten. A sleeping dog is still there and can be woken at any moment by a loud noise. Your life is about dealing with stuff not avoiding it. What you don't deal with today is the thing that will bite you in the bum tomorrow. I believe there is a book I came across which referred to the fact that too many choices made us less happy. Can’t remember any more than that though.

Yes. I do think not having a choice can lead to less stress.

However I think the ideal state is not in never being put in a stressful situation, which would only lead to boredom and stagnation, but in overcoming stress and using it as a springboard to a higher level of being.

Will you be overwhelmed by doing it with little chunks? Maybe. If you can deal with it one big chunk then do it in one big chunk.

But the idea behind the small chunks is that it makes a big decision more manageable. In most cases people are stuck on making a decision because there are many other things they know are involved in the decision, but they can’t think of them all at the same time. So making small decisions is easier.

It all depends on what works for you.

Stephen Hawking can calculate all his workings out in his head because that’s the way his brain has become structured. Most of his Peers need boards and papers to map out their thoughts. It just depends on what works for you.

Which issues to tackle? All of them. If they are on your mind, process them so they move from your mind to resolved and forgotten.

A sleeping dog is still there and can be woken at any moment by a loud noise. Your life is about dealing with stuff not avoiding it. What you don’t deal with today is the thing that will bite you in the bum tomorrow.

]]> By: 007 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-352 007 Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:32:13 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-352 Hi rob, I have two comments w.r.t to the fact that the stress is relieved when we make a decision one way or the other.. 1. A logical conclusion would be "not having a choice is better than having one"..no decision is required and so no stress.. 2. if we choose to break down every issue into smaller chunks and set criteria for them, then i feel we might be overwhelmed by this task.. I would like to hear from your genious your thoughts on how to set criteria on which issues to tackle and which ones to simply ignore.. In my experience, once we decide to act on a issue trying to resolve the underlying conflict, the very act of our thinking about it and acting on it adds fuel and energises the issue.."Don't wake-up sleeping dogs" Hi rob,
I have two comments w.r.t to the fact that the stress is relieved when we make a decision one way or the other..
1. A logical conclusion would be “not having a choice is better than having one”..no decision is required and so no stress..
2. if we choose to break down every issue into smaller chunks and set criteria for them, then i feel we might be overwhelmed by this task..
I would like to hear from your genious your thoughts on how to set criteria on which issues to tackle and which ones to simply ignore..
In my experience, once we decide to act on a issue trying to resolve the underlying conflict, the very act of our thinking about it and acting on it adds fuel and energises the issue..”Don’t wake-up sleeping dogs”

]]> By: 007 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-350 007 Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:19:47 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-350 The step of breaking down the issue into smaller chunks and establishing criteria such that the decision is apparent is very logical and reliable.. something voice keeps telling me that we are missing something.. Two Points: 1. If we go with the arguement that stress is releived/reduced the moment a choice is made, then a logical consequence would be that a life without choices is inherently less stressful.. this i have observed in many cases where people accept the situation as it is..i know a lot of poor people in india who have to work for more than 12 hours in menial jobs to earn two dollars.. they are mentally at peace with themselves.. Are we better off without choice? without freedom? Or is freedom a double edged sword? It has the potential to screw your happiness and also the potential to take you to greater heights... 2. I have some reservations with taking an issue and breaking it down into smaller chunks and setting criteria etc.. In my experience, there are lots of issues that trouble me for a while, i feel stressed for a while and i simply do not act on it.. If i use this strategy, it opens up two possible outcomes.. a. Over time (a day, week or month..) the issue becomes irrelevant or simply fades away.. b. The issue becomes more urgent and knocks for your attention.. In my experience, more than 75% of the issues simply fade away..In that case all that I need to do is to have a state of mind where I can simply not carry it in my head.. basically i should be able to live in peace inspite of some ambiguities and unresolved issues.. If we say take every issue and satrt working on it and take actions, then it simply leads to an unending chain of events.. the issues which would have faded away start getting energy (simply because we acted on it).. I am afraid that in todays world where we are bombarded with so much of stimulli, analysing each issue and trying to resolve the underlying conflict might drive us crazy and we will probably be doing only that.. i do not want to runaway from issues, but I would like your genious to give us your thoughts on choosing a criteria on which issues that you would choose to tackle and which ones you would simply ignore... my two cents The step of breaking down the issue into smaller chunks and establishing criteria such that the decision is apparent is very logical and reliable..
something voice keeps telling me that we are missing something..

Two Points:
1. If we go with the arguement that stress is releived/reduced the moment a choice is made, then a logical consequence would be that a life without choices is inherently less stressful.. this i have observed in many cases where people accept the situation as it is..i know a lot of poor people in india who have to work for more than 12 hours in menial jobs to earn two dollars.. they are mentally at peace with themselves..
Are we better off without choice? without freedom?
Or is freedom a double edged sword? It has the potential to screw your happiness and also the potential to take you to greater heights…

2. I have some reservations with taking an issue and breaking it down into smaller chunks and setting criteria etc.. In my experience, there are lots of issues that trouble me for a while, i feel stressed for a while and i simply do not act on it..
If i use this strategy, it opens up two possible outcomes..
a. Over time (a day, week or month..) the issue becomes irrelevant or simply fades away..
b. The issue becomes more urgent and knocks for your attention..

In my experience, more than 75% of the issues simply fade away..In that case all that I need to do is to have a state of mind where I can simply not carry it in my head.. basically i should be able to live in peace inspite of some ambiguities and unresolved issues..

If we say take every issue and satrt working on it and take actions, then it simply leads to an unending chain of events.. the issues which would have faded away start getting energy (simply because we acted on it)..

I am afraid that in todays world where we are bombarded with so much of stimulli, analysing each issue and trying to resolve the underlying conflict might drive us crazy and we will probably be doing only that..

i do not want to runaway from issues, but I would like your genious to give us your thoughts on choosing a criteria on which issues that you would choose to tackle and which ones you would simply ignore…

my two cents

]]> By: Rob McPhillips http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-345 Rob McPhillips Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:14:55 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-345 Jill, The key is that you don't keep them on a treadmill going around in a circle, that just makes you more confused. In the next steps we'll use them as a springboard to come up with a resolution. Jill,

The key is that you don’t keep them on a treadmill going around in a circle, that just makes you more confused.

In the next steps we’ll use them as a springboard to come up with a resolution.

]]> By: Rob McPhillips http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-344 Rob McPhillips Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:09:50 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-344 Hi Ms Brown, I started to reply, then ended up making it into a new post; <a href="http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/2008/07/18/resolving-stress-follow-up/" rel="nofollow">resolving stress follow up</a> If you still have questions either post a comment or email me. Hi Ms Brown,

I started to reply, then ended up making it into a new post;
resolving stress follow up

If you still have questions either post a comment or email me.

]]> By: Resolving Stress - Follow Up | Happiness 2.0: The Zero Stress System http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-343 Resolving Stress - Follow Up | Happiness 2.0: The Zero Stress System Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:00:38 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-343 [...] started to reply to a comment on the last post and as usual it ended up as a sequel to War and Peace, so I decided it would be easier to make a [...] [...] started to reply to a comment on the last post and as usual it ended up as a sequel to War and Peace, so I decided it would be easier to make a [...]

]]> By: Jill http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-342 Jill Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:41:38 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-342 Hi Rob, From the very beginning of my "issue" people have been telling me to sit down, grab a pen and write. All the pro's and con's, to write about the issue and sit back and read it again in a few days. I have to admit that it's the only thing i haven't done yet. I keep thinking i have turned over every stone, gone to the bottom of every emotion involved, mulled over the facts but still the issue is unresolved. Maybe this is what i need to do to gain clarity. I like how you suggest learning what your criteria may be, what you will and wont settle for and what criteria would make you a happy person, i suppose i would work that bit out by writing it all down and showing myself. I will give it a go. Hi Rob,
From the very beginning of my “issue” people have been telling me to sit down, grab a pen and write. All the pro’s and con’s, to write about the issue and sit back and read it again in a few days. I have to admit that it’s the only thing i haven’t done yet. I keep thinking i have turned over every stone, gone to the bottom of every emotion involved, mulled over the facts but still the issue is unresolved. Maybe this is what i need to do to gain clarity. I like how you suggest learning what your criteria may be, what you will and wont settle for and what criteria would make you a happy person, i suppose i would work that bit out by writing it all down and showing myself. I will give it a go.

]]> By: Ms. Brown http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/the-secret-to-resolving-stress/#comment-341 Ms. Brown Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:53:00 +0000 http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/?p=92#comment-341 This all sound very confusing. Some issues are easy to identify the pro's and Con's why we want such and such or not want such and such. Have you ever wanted to ask for something and were afraid to because we didn't want to appear pushy. I personally have hit on a snag of a problem and am confused as how to resolvd the issures. This all sound very confusing. Some issues are easy to identify the pro’s and Con’s why we want such and such or not want such and such.

Have you ever wanted to ask for something and were afraid to because we didn’t want to appear pushy.

I personally have hit on a snag of a problem and am confused as how to resolvd the issures.

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