Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Brian,

Thanks, your comments always add something valuable.

Teresia,

To live with integrity means that you accept life. All of it.

You can be true to yourself or try to please others.

Pain is caused when our idea of what we are, what we want and our general philosophy of life clashes with life.

So if your husband is hurt, then he can either adapt and grow so it no longer causes him pain or continue, in his illusion as he is, until the pain becomes so acute that he becomes motivated to find relief.

It is unfortunate, but few people will learn without pain. Therefore we mostly learn that the fire is hot by getting burnt.

To adapt what you do to avoid causing someone else pain is to attempt to shield them from truth. Which is to help them live in illusion as opposed to truth.

A short time ago it dawned on me that just asking myself in any given moment what choice brought the most integrity (purity), could immediately clear the clutter in my mind over any issue. I haven’t developed the habit yet to do it automatically, but when I do it always works effortlessly. It’s such a simple way to stay on track and I think it’s as close to a magic bullet as anything.

P.S. to Teresia,

I think as Rob said when you truly follow your heart out of integrity for what you must do, even the most affected by it will ultimately understand.

When my wife broke the news to me last year that she was leaving, my knees got weak and the pain flooded over me, but in that moment I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of respect for her that I did not have up until that moment. It was undeniable.

It did not take away the pain and one year later I am just coming out of it, but in a letter I wrote her a couple months after her announcement , I told her the same thing I just told you. The “integrity” of what she did was irrefutable and I am now a better person for it.

Thanks Rob for putting a light on something so important.

I’ve been reading everything and it makes sense to me.
I want to live my life with integrity and peace. I’ve left my husband recently, not because of your teachings, but it has helped me to focus myself. Now here is the question I’ve reached breaking point but now my husband is hurt. Why do I feel guilty for hurting him when he was the one that through his actions drove me
away. When do you stop feeling selfish for making the
right decision for your own happiness. Is that selfish?