I don’t always get a chance to reply to comments, but I always read them as they come in. As you are reading what I have written, I’m working on the next installment. I’m developing new materials, planning ahead and going about my normal working and family life. Read more about is freedom stressful
I’m sure you are probably missing some of the most valuable insights from this blog. You see I write a post with my views and you probably read it within a day or so. But for days after, people are joining in the conversation and bringing in their experiences, different perspectives and insights. So someone could make the most insightful comment or share a great resource and because it wasn’t there when you read the post, you may have missed out on the best part of the whole page. Read more on what you are missing
I always greatly preferred Carl Jung’s perspectives to Freuds and when I studied Neuro Linguistic Programming I liked his personality types. No typology will ever be completely accurate, but I find these interesting as a starting point. Their fun to take with others and can be helpful in interacting. More on Jungian Personality Tests
This post about practicing happiness is the second point raised in Brian’s questions. The question of how to apply what you know.
I talked a while back about the 10,000 hour principle. The idea that to become a true expert at something takes 10,000 hours of practice. That’s true in every area of life. Read more about practising happiness
I’ve been in this field for a fairly long time now. And so I’ve seen a lot of people and how they got on over time. Recently I noticed a distinct difference between two groups.
The first were people of strong integrity and character. By this I mean that they strove to find solutions that fitted with their conscience and were in line with who they saw themselves and how they wanted to conduct themselves. Read more about Integrity And Character
This is Part 3 of a 3 part series. (Part 1 - More Doesn’t Lead To Happier, Part 2 - Happiness And Political Correctness)
When I was young and we were going on holiday my Dad would put our suitcases etc on the roof rack. And he would strap them down securely with those elasticated clips that catch on the sides. Since he was worried that the bundles might fall, he would strap lots around them. We would always joke about how many he was using. Readmore about why meditating will make you happier than succeeding?
I was writing to someone today who wrote explaining that they were trying to better themselves. I can understand the sentiment behind what they meant. I worked out fairly young that you can solve problems before they happen if you work on ‘bettering yourself’. And so I read a lot.
But today after many years and much observation and contemplation I see a mistake in it that stops people from getting much ‘better’. It’s this…
The idea of self improvement is based on an idea that you are incomplete and ‘not good enough’. It’s a striving to become worthy.
The truth is that you have always been fully formed and perfect. In other words you have the choice of a full range of behavior and emotion. You can be evil or Saintly. You can be as suicidally miserable or ecstatic.
What determines which we access?
The story we tell ourselves, or the picture we paint for ourselves, of our life. Life is a blank canvas. It really is. We are bombarded by sensory data. Off the top of my head I think it is something like 3 million or 3 billion discrete pieces a second. Either way that’s a lot of raw material that gives an almost infinite choice in how you interpret what is happening to you.
Your senses decide which to make available to you based on what seems most relevant to you. So what does it choose? The most powerful vote is cast by your emotional location.
So if you are happy you access the perceptions that are congruent with being happy. I’m good enough, the world is good, good things are happening.
And if you are miserable, your perceptions will fit in with that. I’m bad, I’m not worthy, the world is bad, bad things are happening.
It’s not about getting better. It’s about accessing the best of yourself.
Being happy in other words. Then you’ll treat others with kindness, generosity and compassion. You’ll act in ways that make you feel proud and so on.
If you beat yourself up about not being good enough, you won’t access the higher emotional states and so you won’t display the best of yourself.
And that is why I write about finding happiness. Because it is the only solution to every problem.
One of the hardest things to do is to stay unaffected by what other people say or do (or even what they don’t say and don’t do). It’s easy to get caught up in what someone says and then lose a day, or even a week, running over and over something that has upset you.
Read more about is it really negative