Stress And Awareness Conversation With Tim Rowe
I knew at the end of 2007, that I had got the broad outlines of my philosophy of how to live and so that I would start focusing more and more on the practical elements. Increasingly this will relate to specific problems.
In the light of this, there are two main issues that I’ve been considering a lot recently after reading comments here and private emails. One is that people have been asking me about is practical tools and techniques for dealing with stress. And the second is related, in that I’ve never needed or wanted techniques.
Part of the reason is that I’ve always been happier to find the hard way through stuff so that I can understand it better and learn from it. The other reason is that I believe techniques can mask the true dynamics. So then people start to idolise the technique rather than the result.
About twelve years ago I studied and practised Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). It was great. You could change someone’s thought patterns in minutes. And yes, the 20 minute phobia cure does work and is that quick. But it felt soulless. What happened was that people’s problems were cured, but I noticed that nothing really changed. It wasn’t the springboard for any kind of growth.
In many cases the contrary was true and they began to feel they didn’t need to do anything because they could just come back and I’d take away their problems. So I left that behind and looked for something that was more empowering for individual’s.
So to investigate the use of tools and techniques I decided to ask Tim Rowe, an experienced Teacher in too many techniques and traditions for me to even start to list, to discuss stress and awareness. It was a fascinating two part conversation for me because it contrasted two very different pathways to the same goal.
In some parts, it shocked me, because we are all blinded by our own perceptions. And so Tim’s path was more aligned to those people who feel the need for techniques. Therefore I learned some of the challenges that people might have in implementing the ideas I write about.
Anyway, here’s the first part of the conversation.
You can find out more about Tim at his blog or by following him on Twitter
Part 2:
Hi Rob, I really enjoyed this. There were several parts that I really identified with. I so agree that devastating experiences can be pure gold but maybe it takes some time to realise this. I think the idea that you are able to hear something and immediately it goes into your deeper self is amazing – for me I tend to intellectualise things first so know where I want to be, then am able after some time to act upon them but the real joy is when I genuinely feel them. Meditation is one mechanism that has helped me achieve this process quicker. What I have also realised is that sometimes the process happens in reverse i.e. I feel something really strongly but it takes a while to be able to intellectualise it. I found the part about interconnectedness and the river analogy fascinating as for me this is not scary at all – rather gives me a sense of great comfort/happiness when I feel part of something larger and much more profound than me alone – it is when I am focused on me that I become unhappy. Looking forward to part 2.
I'm glad you enjoyed this, Ruth. I'm never quite sure when I'm rambling and when I'm asking questions that add something for others listening.
"I think the idea that you are able to hear something and immediately it goes into your deeper self is amazing" –
As I think about it, I don't think that's entirely true. There are some things I know I should do, like be more organised, but I don't. And it's not like I take something completely new and understand it completely immediately. So there probably is a gap, but there is little in this topic area that I haven't really considered already. And because I'm always looking for new perspectives I can, quite often, take something that I understand, from someone or a book, and it will change me from that. I think there are two reasons why;
Firstly, I have spent my whole life learning and reorganising my philosophy around what I learn. So I'm kind of trained to adapt.
And secondly, I have very little in the way of fixed beliefs. When I read or listen to someone, my beliefs become to a certain extent the same as theirs. So I become their way of thinking and then I reorganise my brain to include their best ideas.
In some ways this can be a nightmare. I take forever to decide what to eat off a menu or what model of something to buy.
It's a good point you make that we sometimes feel what is right and then catch up with our intellect.
I think part two was the better part of the two, so hopefully you'll like that.
[...] My friend Rob McPhillips interviewed me recently. Parts 1 & 2 are here: http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/stress-awareness-conversation-tim-rowe [...]
[...] does, we all do. Tim Rowe and I discussed this recently. At the end of the second part of our stress and awareness call. Just to greater or lesser extents. Then I figure out where this is true in my life. Then I [...]