The self improvement industry is thriving.  Every day more and more people are frustrated with their relationships, their careers and their lives in general.  And so they seek out solutions.  They may fix one thing, but then something else comes apart.  Or it gets a little better, but like flat pack furniture there’s always one bit that doesn’t quite fit.  

Whatever the result they will never find true enlightenment, the perfect relationship or lasting joy.  One program or book after another, however bright it’s promise, will eventually lead to disappointment.

There’s a reason why.  It’s the reason that no-one wants to really look at.  And so instead people flood to the book, the audio and the course that promises to fix them.

You see, Life is what it is.  It’s the raw energy that constantly flows through us.  It has the ability to show up in any form.  It is the energy of oneness.  The source of all.  We see it in the form of other people, animals, plants and inanimate objects that we can shape and mould.  We see it as the sky and the sun.  We feel it as the wind and the rain.  We smell it in the flowers around us and in the manure we use to nourish the plants.  We hear it in endless ways.  And we taste it with every mouthful we eat and drink.

photo credit: Adam (adamjinj)

But it also exists in the radio waves that we fail to perceive.   It is there in the x-ray, gamma and infra red waves that also fall outside of our perception.  The human perceptual range is much narrower than what we cannot percieve.  Much of life exists without our awareness.  We visit the moon and declare that life cannot live there, because we have decided that life is what we are.  It must have the same properties that we need to live.  Yet are not the billions of other planets in existence a living thing?

To say that life cannot exist on these planets is really saying life as we have seen and know it to be cannot exist on these planets.  When you look at a situation with prejudiced eyes you cannot learn or discover what you did not know.

Now how does this fit in with the idea that self improvement is a flawed goal?

Let me first use a graphic metaphor.  My kids love to make Jelly.  I think in the U.S. you would refer to it as Jello.  Anyway to make it you add boiling hot water and turn it into a hot liquid.  Until the liquid cools, it can take shape in any form you want it to.  It has unlimited possibilities to take shape.  So you can buy a number of different moulds and patterns.  Then you pour the liquid into the bowl and leave it to cool in a fridge.  It sets into a wobbly, sticky substance.  But it is no longer mouldable.  It’s set.  And so that is how it will look until you either eat it or throw it away.

photo credit: djlicious

Now in exactly the same way, life flows through us, making stuff seem to happen and we flow this through the belief structures of our mind, until circumstances set into the mould of our mental structure.  In reality we have an unlimited range of possible options.  Yet because we set the situation into the familiar mould of our prejudices and biases, we seem to be stuck like the jelly in the mould.  And so we feel trapped with only a small number of choices. 

The desire for self improvement comes when you have flowed the circumstances of your life through your perceptual filters and so set it in your own biases and limitations.  Then because you feel stuck, you want to be less stuck.  And so the problem seems to be a lack of skills, a lack of knowledge, a lack of a Partner, a fulfilling career or any one of a myriad of possible possibilities.

‘If only I could have a loving Partner my life would be complete.’

‘I’ll be happy when I have enough money.’

‘I’m almost there, I just need to get my career and home in balance.’

photo credit: funkybug

The mirage seems as real as water to a Man thirsting in the middle of the desert.  Yet you can have all the money in the world.  A harem full of devoted Lovers.  All the recognition, admiration and respect of the world.  Days filled with fun activities.  Yet still there would come wave after wave of disappointment.

Because it matters not in the least what you do.  Only the state of mind in which you do what you do.

Recently Psychology has finally started to come to realise that it is better to understand happiness and strive for it than to fix every mistake or state of unease.  However, for the most part, it tends to be looking at what happy people do.  It starts from the premise that there must be actions or behaviours that equal happiness.  And so it will achieve no better results than the rest of the self improvement industry.

Because self improvement asks the questions ‘what is my potential?  How could I be better?’ once the jelly has already set to the mould of your mind.  Therefore self improvement, personal development, self help, personal growth and whatever else you want to call it start from a flawed perspective.

That you are imperfect and need fixing.  

photo credit: henribergius

On the other hand self expression starts from the premise that I am what I am and that is what I am meant to be.  So it does not filter life through the meanings of my experience, my Ancestor’s experience, the cultural beliefs or the fashion of today.  It does not judge what I feel is right against the right and wrong my religion, Government and Peers tell me is appropriate.

Instead it says, here’s the situation and this is where I stand in relation to it.  This is what I am.  

Not ‘this is the appropriate thing for me to do’.  

Not ‘I don’t want people to feel badly about me so I’ll do this’.  

Not ‘I can make a shed load of money doing this, then I’ll…’

The only path to happiness, true happiness is living as a true expression of what you are.  The reason why people do not know who they are, or mistakenly believe themselves to be something else is because they are so used to flooding every situation through a series of checklists and rules and resulations that they have lost touch with themselves.  

It’s never about what you are doing.  It’s always about whether you are being YOU as you do them. 

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