The last post was really inspired by a comment. I wrote a post to reply, but it was too muddled and disjointed and so I broke it up. But I did want to respond to the comment so I’ll do that in this post.

Integrity is the way you find your identity. It’s how you know what your identity is. As you go through the experience of life, you gather up a list of things that strike a chord with you and some that repulse you. This creates a more refined sense of Self. An ideal or higher Self, if you like to think of it that way. The best Self you possibly could be.

And then there is the Self that you are in your day to day life. The Self that doesn’t see the bigger picture. The Self that stumbles along, get’s scared, compromises and settles for less than it really wants.

Integrity is the path that unites the more refined sense of self with the reality of your day to day existence.

photo credit: William Hook

To know thy self is the ultimate aim, but it’s such a mammoth task that it can’t be achieved in one bite. It’s not something that can be ticked off a to do list as done. It’s a lifelong process that happens in small steps.

photo credit: Bitterjug

When you think, feel and act in unity you move in that direction. But when you think one thing, feel another and say something else then what happens is that you are pulled in different directions and so you actually stay pretty much where you are, because each counteracts the other.

And that is why people without integrity tend not to get anywhere. Not as a punishment from on high, but because it’s an ineffective way of acting.

If your image of yourself comes from others, then you haven’t developed a sense of individuation. And so, for all intents and purposes, you don’t exist as an individual. There is nothing to distinguish you from the mass of consensus and convention.

Yes, there is someone by your name walking about, but it is a routine, Zombie like existence as compared with the vital, vibrant life you could be living as the real you.

photo credit: Banana Leaf

We are gestated and grow and are given birth to at the beginning of our physical existence. Most of the effort comes from our Mother. It is she that prepares the environment that developed us. Our role is largely passive.

But you have to envision, gestate and prepare the environment to develop and give birth to your life emotionally and spiritually or it won’t happen.

You can exist passively, but you can only live passionately.

The answer to what you are has to come from within. External forces can stimulate your thinking, but your sense of self has to resonate within you or it is not you. For many people, the best they have ever felt is when they felt warmth and comfort of other people’s approval. And that is why they become reliant on others.

But it is worthless to examine the past. All that matters is now and beyond. And my honest opinion is that you can’t develop a sense of identity without some level of integrity.

For identity is what you are and integrity is the honesty to know and share what you are.

Tags: Finding Yourself // 1893 Comments »http://livewithoutconflict.com/blog/integrity-is-the-path-to-your-identity/Integrity+Is+The+Path+To+Your+Identity+2008-09-03+11%3A39%3A09Rob+McPhillips