In case you missed it, there’s been a stimulating conversation going on with regard to what makes a Hero.  Sometimes I know there’s something that will tie things together, but I just can’t see it until I get other people’s ideas to unify into an underlying concept.  This was one of those times, but by following Siva, Roland and Eric’s comments now I can’t help, but say what I think is an important point for all of us.  And it was one I overlooked, and I suspect many others do, until Roland and Eric made this crucial point.

It’s that the idea of a Hero, as most people use the concept is flawed.  Generally someone may make one great heroic action, after perhaps a lifetime of non-heroic behaviour and could be considered by some a hero.  

As I think about it I am undecided if this is a positive or negative thing.  Or does it even need to be judged?  Perhaps it’s one of the great features of our culture, that anyone can redeem their past mistakes with one grand selfless gesture? 

Personally, I’ve never been a great follower of Hero’s.  For me, only three people stand out in all of history that would qualify.  

photo credit: kafka4prez

Lao Tsu, Jesus and Buddha.  The reason that they stand out for me is that they were pure.  Nothing could sway them from the core of what they were.  Not threat, fear, greed, power or love.  They withstood every test.  It’s this sense of permanence and rootedness, where everything else is in a swirling maelstrom of change that marked them out for me.  And I imagine it’s that sense of rootedness and security that led to major religions being born out of their life stories.  

So I guess, for me a Hero is defined as one who has reached a state of permanent heroism.  I’m sure there are more out there, but that we never encounter.  Perhaps in more recent times, Krishnamurti might also fit my definition, but I don’t know enough of the Man beyond his books.  

photo credit: [ Djordje ]

History distances us from Individuals and so it’s easier to mythologise the people I earlier mentioned who are now as much legend, as human.  Whereas when you read about many of our contemporaries, whom are sometimes considered as Hero’s, such as Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Dalai Lama, Sai Baba etc there are so many conflicting accounts it’s hard to separate jealousy from fact.  

photo credit: p_c_w

Whilst in my thoughts, I don’t classify them as Hero’s, I do recognise greatness in specific attributes that I admire and hope to emulate.  But it’s much more of a pick and mix, taking the best and discarding the rest.  I suppose when it comes down to it, the purpose of Hero’s or Heroic actions is that they can inspire us.  Much as Sir Roger Bannister broke through the 4 minute mile threshold, so too do heroic actions show us what it is possible.  They shine a light on an area or attribute that makes us sit up, take notice and become more aware and conscious of what is possible in our own lives.

In which case, does it matter whether they are a Hero or perform a heroic action?

Often I think, it’s some kind of ego defence mechanism that makes us reduce the worth of a heroic action by pointing out flaws.  What then happens is that we distract ourselves from being inspired, reduce the value of the great deed and so convince ourselves that because she’s a Crook we need do nothing to change ourselves.  And so we lose out on the chance to gain from the area that they excel in.  

I think this is true in reverse as the world hangs on the word of Celebrities, merely because they are attractive or well known.  It’s a known psychological fact that attractive people are judged to be more intelligent and likeable despite their not being any logical connection.  

The fact is, that any of us are capable of acts of great heroism and great villainy.  

We are a like a powerful fresh, new computer.  Capable of playing the latest games, software applications and high definition videos.  But some will only ever use it for email and word processing. 

photo credit: pgh_shutter

When they try to use it for more advanced uses, it crashes and they come to the conclusion that it’s not powerful enough.  Yet it only crashed because of a glitch in the Operating System and all they ever had to do was download the updated patch that resolved the problem.  Because they never realised this, they wasted the computer on mundane activities and held themselves apart from all the exciting leading edge uses they could have used it for. 

This is how people live their lives.  ’Oh. I couldn’t do that.  I’m too …  I’m not… enough’.  It’s all hogwash.  There are certain hardware limitations.  I’m never going to be 100m Sprint Champion or partner Fernando Torres in the Liverpool attack.  However I have a lot of lattitude in adding and running software components.

photo credit: Nigel Wilson 

Want to learn Spanish?  It’s just another software program that we can all pick up with effort.

Want to be a better Parent, better Lover, better Communicator?  Again just a set of skills that any of us can master with effort.

Want to deal better with stress?  Just a learned skill.

However in this metaphor, where we differ from computers is that we need the soft skills (the software), but we also need the motivation to act. A computer will do what is asked literally of it.  We act from emotion.  And so the critical factor in whether we perform heroically or like a scumbag depends on how we feel.  When we are loving, selfless and heroic, we all perform heroic acts.  But when we feel angry, bitter, resentful and depressed, any of us can and will lash out irrationally and hurt others.

The Link Between Stress Free Living And Heroism

So we all range from Hero to Villain at different times depending on our emotional state.  We’re all heroic in our minds when we daydream, aren’t we?  

Because then we are relaxed, patient, tolerant and so on.  We are heroic when we have the mental space to think and be ourselves.  But it is when we feel pressured, harrassed and tense, like a cornered rat, that we feel we just have to lash out to make ourselves the mental space to be tolerant, patient and loving.

I have two Daughters. And at times I can be a great Dad.  I can play and have fun with them.  I can ignore all their lashing out and  listen to their frustrations and fears and guide them to seeing the solution.  But for me to do that I have to have fully dealt with my own stuff.  I need to have mentally emptied myself and be in the moment with them with either a positive mood or be completely unstained by what has gone before.

photo credit: bleublogger

And if I haven’t achieved that, then Christ it’s hard getting through a night with them.  

One is so full of energy that it’s impossible for her to be quiet.  And she’s so filled with enthusiasm that she wants to tell you about everything.  But sooo sloooowly.  The other one is going through her teenage years early (We hope so anyway). And if she’s unhappy, she demands, fights, is incredibly stroppy and will never back down.   

Whether I have a rewarding evening with them depends entirely on my mental state and readiness to be with them.  If I haven’t finished what I was working on when they come through the door and mentally I’m still in the flow of what I was doing, but physically with them.  I’m going to be grumpy and easily irritated.  But if I’m glad they’re home and receptive to them, we will have a good night.

In the same way, sometimes I can express myself well and clearly.  At other times when my mental state is more confused, it’s hard to know what I mean, let alone get it across to someone else. 

Don’t you find that sometimes, you just can’t perform.  Your work is of less quality, your thinking is lower quality and you are generally less productive.  It all depends on your mood, your emotional state. 

Actions Are A Snapshot Of Emotions

What I think gets misunderstood in the mention of Heroes generally is something that holds most people back from being heroic.  

It is that people judge themselves and others by their actions, when really actions are historic and largely irrelevant.  Actions are the consequences and side effects of emotional states.  Any action you have ever taken or failed to take was purely a reflection of your emotional state at that moment.  Had you been in a different emotional state, the action you took would have been different.  There are not good and bad people, only people in emotional states that lead to good and bad actions.

You are not your actions.

Your actions are a reflection of where you were at that point on your path through life.

I think one of the reasons why people are afraid of hurting or criticising others, as Mari mentioned, is that they feel people will take a comment on their actions as a comment on their character forever.  

As Eric alluded to in one of his comments, the people I personally class as Heroes didn’t set out to be Heroic.  They are those who in the course of their life strove to live in harmony with life.  In doing so, they developed the skill to manage their emotional state to almost exclusively stay in the upper range of positive emotions.  The art of stress free living.

The path to becoming heroic, is the ability to manage your emotional state.  Achieve this consistently and you too can become a Hero.

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