I started to reply to a comment on the last post and as usual it ended up as a sequel to War and Peace, so I decided it would be easier to make a new post.

It’s not about pros and cons. That’s the old way that someone makes a big decision. We’re looking for a fresh new solution.

We haven’t got up to making the decision yet. We’re indentifying the elements, the criteria that together will make up the big decision.

It’s taking an issue apart into it’s different cellular aspects. So it’s not one decision based on pros and cons, but many little decisions.

For example, someone might tell you that they had Heart disease or Arthritis and unless you have medical training you’d probably feel satisfied you understood what was wrong with them.

But a Doctor would want a lot more information before he/she would treat them. There are over 300 different types of Arthritis and many forms of Heart disease. Is it the arteries, the heart function, the oxygenation and so on?

The label is a broad category, but different clusters of individual symptoms make up the condition. And the minute differences in symptoms lead to different diagnosis, prognosis and treatment.

In the same way, the problem is the overview, but there are clusters of beliefs, wants and fears underlying the problem.

Think of it this way.

If you travelled the world you’d find that an overwhelming number of the population fervently wanted world peace.

Go to the Christians and they would say; ‘yes we want peace. If only everyone would live by God’s law’s as Jesus told them.’

Go to the Muslims and they would say; ‘yes we want peace. If only everyone would live according to the law of Allah as Mohammad shared them.’

Go to the Buddhists and they would say; ‘yes we want peace. If only everyone would live according to the laws as Buddha gave them.’

The problem isn’t at the level of wanting peace, or love, or freedom. People believe they are fighting for peace or love or freedom. No one ever recruits an army by telling them they can go and kill all they can for fun. They appeal to their patriotism, their righteousness, their desire to protect their kin.

These wars originate in exactly the same thought processes as the individual problems we all face. The devil (or conflict) is in the details.

The problem is in the detail of how conflicting beliefs get to co-exist peacefully. The route out of them is not through choosing one over another, but in forging a new path. Using your unique situation to come to a new level of understanding and so creating a unique solution.

I want to know something, but I don’t want to seem pushy is the impetus for a more evolved and refined means of communication.

This is the start of the decision stage. It is only designed to create a more refined goal. A set of criteria that you want met by the solution. We’ll get to making an actual decision soon.

Let me know if this makes it any clearer. I don’t want to move on, if this stage isn’t clear yet.

Tags: Stress Management Techniques //