Is It Really Disgusting?

One of the hardest things to do is to stay unaffected by what other people say or do (or even what they don’t say and don’t do).  It’s easy to get caught up in what someone says and then lose a day, or even a week, running over and over something that has upset you.

 

Once you start to do that you get lost in the flow of negativity and bitterness until you lose all perspective and are unable to dig yourself out.  Once this happens you’ve lost your free will and ability to choose your response and direction.

 

One of the ways of maintaining perspective is to understand that no one is all bad or all good.  I’m sure there has been at least one person in your life that you once thought was great and now can’t stand.  Which is right?

 

Both.

 

 

It depends on the time and context in which you met the person.  Let me explain…

 

Sometimes you can look at something and recoil in disgust. Say for example that you open your fridge and find a rotting piece of fruit or a bottle of soured milk. It’s offensive to your senses, isn’t it?

 

 

 

Or how about a plant or flower that has died? One that once looked so pretty and full of life, but now it’s all dried up and dead?

 

 

 

It’s not that the fruit, the milk or the flower or plant is ugly or that it inherently disgusts you, it’s just the timing of when you meet it.

 

 

 

In other words, a week earlier, the fruit would have delighted your taste buds. The plant would have pleased your eye and the milk quenched your thirst.

 

 

 

 

But a lack of nutrients caused the fruit, the flower and plant to die and a build up of bacteria caused the milk to sour. And so you met them at the ugliest moment in their life, when they were dead and decaying.

 

 

 

It’s just the same with people. If you meet them when they feel unloved, unnurtured, frustrated and generally not at their best they might disgust and revolt you. They really aren’t repulsive, they’re just lacking something.

 

 

 

Yet you might see them at another time or in another context and think them to be the most pleasant and attractive person you’ve met in ages.

 

 

 

Your ability to be happy.  Your ability to exercise your free will and direct your life is entirely dependent on your ability to choose your response whatever others do.  It isn’t easy, but with time and effort you can achieve it.

 

It is also the key to making people in your life more pleasant.  Loving them when they are lacking helps to restore them to what they could be. Hating them just takes you both away from what you could be.

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